Sexuality

Once people got to know each other on a physical level, they sexual relationships are at its peak and they don't even have the time to think over "variety". However, with the time even the awesome sex becomes not so acute for many couples. Who is to blame? One can say that having sex with one partner for a long time is a reason why sex feels rather routine. But just think-with any other person sex won't differ much and in any case there would be some problems to solve. That's why it's better to take a closer look at problems within a relationship rather than seek the solution outside.

First thing that makes sex boring is a habit to have a "programmed intercourse" where you already know what will happen next. Thereу is no need to mention that things we know well do not seem so exciting after all. Very often two lovers find several positions that suit them the best, choose certain foreplay and stick to this order every time they have sex. If it brings pleasure why not do it over and over again? Here is the biggest trap lovers get into when they are in long-term relationships. So what can you do?

First of all, do not think that if one thing brings your lover to highest pleasure, you should always do it. The exploration of one's body can be no less exciting than intercourse itself. Besides everyone of us is absolutely individual: some women even orgasm from the sound of raindrops. Why wouldn't you explore your and your partner's hidden desires even if they seem unusual for both of us? The slightest details make the difference: many people tend to forget the courtship stage and do not bother to seduce their better half with surprises. But writing a small note with a compliment can make such a big difference that passion can fuel stronger than when you didn't know much about each other.

Second, many people do not dare discuss something with their partner because they feel embarrassed. For example you have a foot fetish, but think that your lover may consider you a pervert if you tell about your peculiarity. In this case, the best decision is to talk openly about your preferences and needs. In fact, you may discover that your partner has his or her own unusual needs. But you will never discover something new until you decide to talk out.
There is no need to seek for pleasure outside- you can find it by your side!

Sex toy Z

Silent sex can be exciting, but no more exciting than nasty talks during the most enjoyable moments. Moaning, sighing and uttering sounds can add that little something that turns pleasure into memorable thing. But that doesn't mean one can tell anything in the face of the lovеr so that he or she will get excited. And everything that happens between two people who trust and feel comfortable at each other's presence looks extremely sexy and arousing. In this regard nothing proves to be spicier than few "dirty" words that you can tell to your lover.

The first and the foremost thing are certainly trust and consent. Of course you can suddenly let yourself go and say something really nasty, but the reaction can be unpredictable from the spat on your face to the awkward silence in response. Again, forcing what comes against your partner's desire cannot feel good.

The best way in this situation is to start with a compliment, whispering into his or her ears, uttering what makes you feel so horny about your partner.

You may also try to pre-communicate the sexual encounter, leaving notes to each other or sending intriguing messages. Anticipation of the event can become a huge turn on.

Talking out your deepest sexual fantasies is not only a good way to spice up the process but also makes you understand your lover's needs.

Saying something really nasty or vulgar may surprisingly take your partner at the heights of bliss, taking into consideration you at least know the possible reaction or you learned from her or him that it's ok with both of you.

In fact, those who try dirty talks and are used to spice up their sex life with seductive conversations feel more closer as a result and are more satisfied with their relationships.

What about having sex with a person you love the most? I mean with yourself and ..with you partner watching. Some of you will be probably ashamed to tell, but everyone knows that almost all of us masturbated from time to time.

You could discovered strange feelings at your early teens when you occasionally touched yourself down there and lately found it's the best possible way to reduce sexual tension. No one told you it was a good thing to do but almost everyone claimed sex is awesome. Who wouldn't be curious enough to know how it feels when you are completely alone? However, most of us still think that masturbation is a private matter and few admitted they did it in front of their lover.

You could ask why would anyone masturbated in the presence of another person if you have a possibility to do what's natural? Indeed, gratification from the partner sex is often higher if you both find understanding on this level. But it doesn't mean you cannot derive pleasure from playing solo in each other's presence. The reasons for that can be different:

1. You cannot achieve orgasm during intercourse. This often concerns women, who are not enjoying vaginal penetration (and more than half of women don't). In this regard, stimulating your own sensitive zones like clitoris during intercourse can be the better way to experience the heights of pleasure.
2. You give your partner a necessary knowledge about your own body. Even the most experienced lover cannot know your body better than you do. If you really want to get maximum sexual satisfaction –it's a matter of your willingness to show what brings you the most pleasure.
3. You have no protection for safer sex. The reasons can be different, but if you find yourself in a situation when the arousal is high and immediate, why not having solo sex at the spot –it's safe, fun and very spicy.

Sometimes people find it difficult to understand why relationships ended. A few years ago everyone was happy and togetherness seemed to last forever. However, with the time dissatisfaction became evident. Does it mean that love has died? Many problems actually take roots from sexual incompatibility. According to numerous researches sexual disharmony became triggers for divorce in 40 percent of cases.

In many cases, men and women have different attitudes towards sex. Very often a woman is brought up in rigorous atmosphere and was taught to see sex as dirty and disgusting. No need to say that if her husband has unprejudiced attitude towards sex, the situation will sooner or later become tense.

Some couples claim that they are incompatible physically, when for example a man has too big penis and woman has tight vagina but this is quite a rare situation. In most cases the supposed physical incompatibility is either lack of lubrication for a woman or wrong position.

Other complaint is disharmony of sexual drives of both partners. In a situation when man needs sex 5 times per week and his wife will be content with twice times per month, infidelity becomes a way out to compensate for the lack of sexual activity. However if we take the situation when a woman is more demanding in bed, a man may simply become anxious about his performance and this may even lead to erectile dysfunction.

Communication is often the key to discuss those intimate issues and very important the first big step lies in open discussion of each side's problems. This shouldn't sound as resentment but rather as a way to find a compromise.

One should not take sexual incompatibility as natural. Constant dissatisfaction is a route for physical and emotional problems and two people who found common ground in other areas of their lives can well make their sexual lives healthy and harmonious.

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There are so many reasons why women cannot easily achieve orgasm through simple physical act that sometimes it seems that orgasm is rather a thing invented to equate men and woman. From the biological point of view there is no need for a woman to have orgasm as her body is ready for procreation no matter if she reached a desired big O or not. But as we dont have sex only to give birth to a child but mostly for pleasure sake – the orgasm difficulty raises numerous concerns for women and all the scientific staff that is trying to solve the grand problem.

If you ask a smart sexologist on the topic of female orgasm – you will get the whole range of answers which state one blur thing- women are complex creatures and such things like mood swings, minor conflicts can interfere with the enjoyable process and kill all the efforts.

Women start buying vibrators searching for that unbelievable pleasure. The mechanical thing can indeed sometimes become an alternative for reaching orgasm, but if a woman feels the necessity to choose, she'd rather have good sex without orgasm than have multiple orgasms with a sex toy. The reason is simple - women don't need an orgasm and shouldn't set a goal to reach it by no means.

The real objective should be satisfying sexual relationships and it is possible to have ones without orgasm. Women's orgasm also has one peculiarity: when you urge to have one - it becomes even more distant perspective. Indeed, sex is not a sport- it's a process and if you are thinking about your chances of reaching it finally, you make sex a competition while not giving yourself a possibility to sense the enjoyment.

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Men need sex-the more so, they are claimed to be obsessed with sex, thinking every X number of seconds about it. However, this seems to be a big overestimation to say that women are somewhat receptive and men are somewhat pushy to have sex. Our physical urges became indeed equal with the prevalence on women side lately.

Why are we used to think that sexual needs are more demanding for men than women? In fact, the situation most men were brought up inclined us to consider men as aggressive animals driven by their wild instincts. If you have sex - you are a man, if you don't- you are loser. If your penis is erect- you are a man, if your willy is not firm and big – it means the end of the world (at least for a man). This really creates an image of an ever-wanting macho aka real man who is always ready, and cannot resist looking at the naked body, becoming absolutely uncontrollable.

But there are a lot of cases when men really don't want sex but are afraid just to admit this fact, as this will be a sign of their failure.

I wouldn't argue that men have quite strong sexual urges but this is not self-evident as they get tired too, can be too concerned with their work and simply find more interesting stuff to do from time to time. Of course, a man is unlikely to claim that recent mood swings do not attune him to sex, however, constant fights with his wife is quite a reason to want physical intimacy no more than once in a month.

A woman who will face a problem that her man doesn't want her that often may come to a conclusion that there is something wrong with her as she "knows that men want" or otherwise he has erectile dysfunction. In fact, male readiness to have sex everywhere and anytime is not a natural but more imposed.

Being quite unfamiliar with the reality of gay lifestyle I never had any prejudiced attitude towards those who I consider not much different than anyone else. We are mostly used to the thought that sexual attraction is just a personal matter and our sexuality can have different expressions. For better or for good, social norms do not agree so readily to our hidden intimate urges even in "sexual freedom" era.

Are you a gay? It's ok for you to sleep just with anyone. The smiling face of the society shows that we are open-minded and understanding. Do you want to get married? Well, something is wrong in accepting this statement. Please, stay in the closet, cause we all feel uncomfortable for youк strange legalized relationships. And do you want to have a child? Now a real protest comes into fore.

The arguments may defend the view where gays are naturally unable to raise a child. Initially possesses this prerogative and were considered to be the best match for bringing-up. And what's for thе current situation? A man raising a child alone is a rare case, while two men raising a child becomes something that goes beyond the common vision of life. It's hard to accept the fact. The problem is that we are still used to see gays as "one's sexual preferences" not as a social group.

Actually, there would be no more harm for a child to be raised up by gay parents than if he would be raised by straight parents who treat him badly. It all depends on a person, not his sexual orientation. And if we are afraid that our children would be ill-influenced by those who remain "another world" people, it's because of our incomplete awareness and acceptance of people who are basically the same but who adopt to these social norms much difficult than we are.

With the last decades our knowledge on different forms of sex was evidently enriched. The limits of the acceptable and forbidden become more obscure. Gays are just people with another sexual orientation. BDSM is another form of getting sexual satisfaction. And all in all sex is not about having physical contact with another person. What is the direction our sexuality is moving on?

The thing is that our lives are now more than ever connected with the brainwork. The most time that we spend is either with Internet, TV or other media. What we could do with our hands and physical efforts are now substituted by hi-tech. The same can be said for our so-called intimate life. The huge sex area was a taboo, shame or the most –a reproductive instinct. Nowadays, as majority is more or less aware of the variety of physical pleasures, still it get us bored.

We need the excitement on another level, which is - through mental stimulation. For example, you can have virtual sex with unknown person. While you are "communicating", you are imagining the hottest scenario with a dream lover and your body awakens for a storming orgasm. Was there any real touch? Perhaps your hands were working hard, but you had the entire scene in your mind and that means that organ that was involved the most in the process of having sex was your brain. Or just remember the first dates with your lover: you were totally excited. In your fantasy your most hidden desires were driving you wild at sole presence of the "stranger". Later the magic disappeared. Why?

The conclusion is obvious: we are not simple-our sex life is not simple anymore. And it really gives us the potential to experience the range of unknown sensations. Without mental excitement, our bodies remain as they are and we won't derive much from pure physical contact. While the limits of our mentality are endless, we can have exciting sex over and over again if we make use of the most sexual organ - our brain.

About a month ago in one of well - known American Universities (Baltimore’s John Hopkins University), researchers have found that more than 18 million American men were recorded to have erectile dysfunction and these are men over the age 20. The researches found that there is a definite correlation between erectile dysfunction and such diseases as diabetes or hypertension. Sedentary lifestyle was also a strong factor for erectile dysfunction.

Making up all the figures struck my mind with some uncanny calculations. Taking into account that men make up around 100 million of American population, this figure becomes striking. An illness that hardly a single man is able to admit even to himself in fact may affect at least one out of five men.

And these are not only middle-aged or old men as most people deem. Those who just begin their sexual life, now enter their maturity with the diagnosis that can ruin not just their health but considerably undermine their self-esteem. As you can imagine, once a young man had to experience an embarrassing situation with a woman – this incident can put quite a memorable imprint he won’t ever be able to forget.

Is this hard work, stress or some unknown illnesses to blame for the current state of affairs? According to research the most facts say against the modern lifestyle, where men are no longer “hunters” or “defenders”. Sitting cozily at their computers all day and night long, eating fast food and drinking beer as a usual way to spend good time may turn out to be an end to their man's "pride" in a couple of years (if not earlier). Do we need a stronger butt kick or we can wait until every second man will end up as impotent?

Everyone who at least once had sex knows that proper stimulation of a sensitive female erogenous zone causes a woman to orgasm. But did you ever think that stimulation of two sensitive zones at once? Thus you can give a woman double enjoyment and multiple orgasms any woman dreams of. How can you provide a woman with dual stimulation of her main erogenous zones? Below you will find some ideas on this matter.

1. Tongue and fingers. Try to insert your finger into her vagina while performing oral sex on her. You might use your finger like penis. If you know where her G-spot is, than you can try to stimulate it while your tongue is doing its job. Her response will astonish you!

2. Penis and fingers. While making love in doggy-style position massage her clitoris. This is especially important if your girlfriend can experience only clitoral orgasm. The same you can do while having anal sex - thus you will provide her with dual pleasure and at the same time will make intercourse easier and painless - it is known that a woman should be aroused to have her anal muscles relaxed.

3. Penis and a sex toy. There are plenty of sex toys which can enhance the enjoyment you give her by making use of your penis. What are these sex toys?

Clitoral vibrators. There is plenty of various clitoral vibrators which can be used for both solo and partner sex. What to partner sex, a woman can stimulate her clitoris with a sex toy during anal or vaginal intercourse thus getting dual pleasure and possibly dual enjoyment.

Cock rings. Actually cock rings are male sex toys which are intended to wear around the penis, usually at its base in order to enhance and to prolong erection - this does enhance female pleasure, but some cock rings feature additional stimulators, such as clitoral stimulators which please the clitoris during sexual intercourse. This is cute as this is hands-free stimulation which allows the partners to enjoy maximum pleasurable intercourse. Such cock-rings are especially useful for those couples where a woman can experience only clitoral orgasm.

Anal sex toys. Do try to use an anal sex toy during vaginal intercourse. This could be a butt plug which can be worn by a woman during intercourse for intensifying her pleasure. As well these could be anal beads which when being taken off at the moment of orgasm, cause especially strong enjoyment.

4. Only a sex toy. For dual stimulation you can use a sex toy on its own as there are such sex toys which are designed especially for stimulation of two erogenous zones. Why might wonder: what about my enjoyment? Do not worry, you can use one of these sex toys after intercourse in order to make your girlfriend experience multiple orgasms.

Rabbit vibrator. This is a cute sex toy as it can stimulate the vagina, the vaginal entrance and the clitoris at the same time. You can use the sex toy on its own or you can experiment with it. For instance you can turn on the clitoral stimulator and leave the shaft in the vagina turned off. Than when you see she is about to orgasm turn the shaft on. Thus you will delay her orgasm and will intensify it.

Dual-action vibrator or a dual-action dildo. These are sex toys designed for simultaneous stimulation of two erogenous zones. It can stimulate the anus and the vagina at the same time. Sex toys of this kind perfectly suit women who love anal stimulation.

These were only some ideas and you should not think that you cannot make up a new way to give your girlfriend dual enjoyment. Do try to invent at least one more way to stimulate her two erogenous zones simultaneously. Explore your fantasy!

No doubt, almost any adult person with normal libido considers sex to be one of the most important parts of his or her life. However, sometimes we have to suffer from sexual abstinence due to various, usually sad reasons: divorce, breakup, difficulties with finding a regular partner, etc.

What should you do in such situations? Should you suffer until you find a regular partner? Actually, you can do so, but be aware of the fact that sexual abstinence is harmful both for men and women, especially for men in their forties, who after a long lasting sexual abstinence can completely lose ability to have sexual intercourse.

This implies that having erotic sensations and achieving orgasms is vitally necessary for any adult person. How can you cope with sexual abstinence? Below you can find some tips which will help you to cope with frustration during the period of absence of a regular sex partner.

1. Sleeping around is not the best choice here. You certainly know that casual sex is fright with many troubles such as sexually transmitted diseases. The worst thing about STDs is that a person might have an STD without being aware of this fact, this especially concerns men. Thus your partner can share an infection with you. After that you might find another casual partner and infect him or her being sure you do not have an STD.

Are a few moments of pleasure worth your health? Of course, they are not. Do not engage in sex with strangers. At least, protect yourself against STDs when having sex with a stranger. Keep in mind that there is no better protection against STDs than a condom. You might say that condom weakens your sensations, but do prefer to be healthy rather than to have more pleasurable sex.

2. Masturbate. Masturbation is the safest way to get rid from frustration sexual abstinence might cause. Do not be ashamed of the fact you masturbate. Masturbation is as natural as partner sex. Besides masturbation can be very useful for you. While masturbating you can learn more about your sexuality and your sexual response. Thus you will have better sexual relationships with your partner, when you find one.

Plenty of various sex toys can make your solo sex extremely enjoyable. There are sex toys designed for male and female masturbation. These sex toys are of various shapes and materials, thus giving you nice chance to choose a sex toy which will suit you best.

Women can use for solo sex such nice sex toys as dildos and vibrators. Dildos and vibrators offered to your attention can be simple and especial: for example the G-spot vibrator, which is a sex toy designed for the G-spot stimulation, rabbit vibrator which simultaneously stimulates the vagina and the clitoris, suction cup dildo which can be attached to a flat surface for hands-three masturbation and many other nice dildos and vibrators.

Men can use for masturbation such sex toys as realistic vaginas, oral-sex imitators and love dolls which perfectly resemble female body.

As well persons of both genders can masturbate with various anal sex toys, as anal stimulation can be very pleasurable for both men and women. Usually, people insert an anal sex toy (a butt plug) in the anus and enjoy manual masturbation simultaneously enjoying very pleasurable sensation of fullness in the anus.

Masturbation is not a sin! Being enhanced by sex toys masturbation can become a very pleasurable experience!

3. Exercise! Physical exercising does help get rid of frustration! Do whatever you want, the main thing is to like what you are doing. For example you can go to a gym or start jogging. First of all, sport will distract you and will help you think about something else but sex. Secondly it will help you to be in good shape and to feel and look good. While exercising your body releases such chemicals as endorphins - the same chemicals are released during sex. Exercising gives you both pleasure and good health!

As you see, you can go through the period of sexual abstinence without suffering and without risking your health! No doubt, you will find a beloved person with whom sex will be really earth-shaking. Good luck!

The sensation was arising at the point of contact with surface and was going up into my belly. I could control it: intensify tightly clinging to the vibrator or weaken.

Frankly speaking I felt neither shame nor fright. It was real happiness that finally I found most suitable means of masturbation. That's why I continued to thoroughly study peculiarities and details of my discovery. Half an hour later I got used to the sensations and their intensity was no longer sufficient for me. That's why I took all my clothes off except shirt.

Excitement of my own nudity gave me a new emotional splash. I rode the vibrator, opened my vulvar lips widely pulling them apart, spread them about the varnished surface and tightly nestled up to it as if kissing. Vibrator answered me with a powerful energy stroke exactly into my clitoris. The feeling was sudden and stunning. In several minutes it entirely overflowed me and exhausted. I felt as if I were melting below as a piece of butter on a frying pan: I was spilling and drooping over the vibrator.

Further everything was going on extremely quickly: having made several rhythmical moves I caught first orgasm and right after several more. That day was unforgettable with the quantity and intensity of new emotions. The rest of the day I remained in such a detachment that even caused puzzling questions from my mother. Since then I was making such presents for myself: not often but regularly. Surely, it was impossible to stand THIS often; moreover there rarely were moments when I remained alone at home.

Once I got into a situation I still recall with shame. It happened when my father went to garage and I decided to take the occasion. Sitting, as always, in a short jersey scarcely covering my buttocks and pubis, I closed my eyes and was swinging on the buzzing vibrator close to orgasm. Because of the loud buzz I didn't notice my father who forgot the keys. At a certain moment I opened my eyes and saw him staying right in front of me curiously looking at the masturbating girl. The worst thing was that I was in such a state that couldn't stop doing that. I was just beggarly looking at him biting my lips and couldn’t stop. I experienced orgasm virtually before his very eyes. Right at that moment my father went to the kitchen.

Afterwards my father behaved as a real gentleman thus deserved my lifelong gratitude. He feigned that there was nothing. Neither his words, nor his glances implied anything. He never changed his attitude towards me as well as said nothing to my mother. With time I myself believed that there was nothing of the kind. Nevertheless first two weeks I avoided to look into his eyes and definitely didn't even come close to the vibrator. But it's clear that later on everything started again. I couldn't live without this means of masturbation. I just got more careful.

It happened at the physical training class when I was swarming up a rope. The sensation was very strong and came at the most inappropriate moment – when I was almost under the ceiling. Burning sweet wave that numbed my whole body started to grow out of the bottom of my belly: I felt neither my hands, nor legs.

I was very scared since I couldn't control my hands and was just mentally begging them to cling to the rope. I felt as if a swamp of the sweetest creeps was swaying in my groin. Any stronger grasping of the rope made the swamp splash out.

I was dangling under the ceiling as a huge pear unable to do anything. The teacher and my classmates thought I felt giddy because of the height. I was hanging desperately trying to calm the swamp and get control over my hands. When it happened I carefully loosened the grasp and my body quickly slid down.

Rope rubbing of my pubis made the swamp gush and I fell down as a brokenly twitching pile. Perhaps that was my first orgasm. Anyway after that for twenty minutes I was lying in the corner of the gym unable to straighten myself up.

This incident had the strongest impact on me. I immediately understood that it was that very sex and that its sweetness is true. That's why, despite the fact that I was frightened with this first advent of sexuality, I became utterly interested in it and started looking for the opportunities to render these sensations. Not often but at times I tried to squeeze something between my legs. As many masturbating girls I used toys, bottles, flasks and even round table legs: I cuddled my vagina to the table leg and tightly threw my hips together. Yet, everything was in vain.

I was exploring my body trying various means of masturbation but there was nothing interesting, that's why I gave up. Perhaps, if I were more patient I would have succeeded. But I thought that everything should have happened as for the first time – quickly and sharply.

Only in 1,5 – 2 years I finally got luck. Sometimes my friends mentioned vibrator in their gossips with a strong obscene implication. Definitely they meant a dildo but the word suggested an idea. There was a vibrator in our house and more specifically a vibratory-masseur for back massage. It looked like a small 10 centimeter rectangular pillow (only metal). This vibrator should have been lied on at the back. It was usually left in the corner of the room.

One day when my parents weren't at home I suddenly recalled the word vibrator and decided to try it. I put it in the middle of the room, sat above it and turned the vibrator on. I made myself more comfortable and stronger clang to vibrating surface. At first I was feeling nothing except vibration. But some time later the sensations started to grow. Not so sharply but quite aloud.